Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Listening to the evil chocolate monster...

As I have mentioned, I am getting hitched in August. Part of the wedding planning involves eating better for both the fiance and I as our pictures are being taken and all of our closest friends will be staring at us. We need to look hot. I don't know what he's worried about-the man is a clothes hanger-he looks good in anything. I however am blessed with curves. I have no problem with the curves-it just means that if I don't eat well, the curves grow in ways I am not comfortable with.

We have been eating reasonably healthy (I am beginning to fear lettuce), but lately, I have been having IRRATIONAL cravings. Not preggo cravings, trust me. The goalie is FIRMLY in place and is blocking all shots. I just REALLY want chocolate. I feel gross once I eat it as I am still battling a bit of stomach flu, but I eat it nonetheless.

Perhaps I am a victim of subliminal advertising. It IS easter season...time for that evil and tempting delight...the Cadbury's Easter Creme egg...

Yes, I know they are disgusting. Who KNOWS what goes in the filling, but DAMN those things are good...


If only chocolate helped you LOSE weight...THAT would be magic!!!!!

Friday, March 23, 2007

Friday afternoon laughter

This is EXACTLY why I love the internet...

Thursday, March 22, 2007

A-list-Joe Mimran

Overheard today by me...

Hey Sasskitty! Your ass looks fantastic in those pants! Are they new?

Why yes they are oh fabulous coworker of mine! They are from Joe, designed by Joe Mimran, the guy behind Alfred Sung, Club Monaco and Caban who now does trendy affordable clothing for the Great Canadian Superstore a la Issac Mizrahi and Target. AND they were only NINETEEN DOLLARS!

I think this is insane ! I can't believe I spent 19 dollars on a pair of pants that make my ass look this good!

Well done Joe Mimran! Well done!

Monday, March 19, 2007

Dancing with confusion...

I am at sixes and sevens. I am plussed! I am all in a kafuffle.

I am, I am not ashamed to admit, a bit of a boy when it comes to sports. I love sports. I love watching sports, if I could afford it, I would have seasons tickets to football (yes, CFL), basketball (go Sonics go) and maybe hockey (yup, i am a bad Canadian...don't really like hockey, and I am a REALLY bad Vancouverite because I prefer the Calgary Flames. I will pause for hatemail to be sent. pause. And now, I will resume).

One of my FAVOURITE players of ALL TIME is Clyde "the Glide" Drexler. First off, how can you NOT love a player called Clyde the Glide? Secondly, he was an amazing player. My favourite players are always the point guards (John Stockton, Clyde Drexler, Steve Nash, Gary Payton, Magic Johnson)-not usually the big point scorers, but they really drive the game as the playmakers. I was a power forward due to my height-I was never speedy or sneaky enough to be a point guard, but I always admire them.

In an alarming turn of events, Clyde "the Glide" Drexler is doing a turn on Dancing with the Stars.


Don't get me wrong. I fully intend to watch it and cringe at the badness of Heather Mills, Ian Ziering, Joey Fatone and Billy Ray Cyrus as they shake their achy breaky booty across the floor...but CLYDE? WHY!

ABC always finds a few sports stars to pad the roster, and they always do well. Emmit Smith won last year (poor Mario Lopez...he was robbed) and Jerry Rice came in second the year before. This year, Clyde will be gliding his way across the floor AND he will be joined by Apolo Ohno.


They have officially reached the bottom of the star bucket.

So my conundrum is...do I enjoy Clyde's gliding, or do I feel sad that one of my basketball heroes has fallen to the axe that is...

Dancing with the Stars...

Emotion of the day-Petty

It is very wrong of me, but at this moment I am overjoyed and filled with glee.

I realize that it is quite petty. I am not PROUD of this by any stretch. In fact, I am slightly embarrassed by how overwhelmed I am with delight at the moment. I am giggling in my chair as I write this...

I have just discovered that my stalker ex boyfriend is married to a girl whose nickname was...

wait for it...

The Town Pump

hee hee hee hee hee

I am a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad person...


Last night I came upon "Dodgeball" on TV. This movie makes me so happy as its just so...well...stupid, but in a good way.

I appreciate how the actors FLING themselves into their roles and are obviously having a great time with their performances. Jason Bateman kills me in this movie, William Shatner rocks my socks and David Hasslehoff in his cameo as the German Dodgeball Coach is magic.

I think the best thing about it is that NONE of the actors in the movie are taking themselves seriously. Bill and Dave know that they are taking the shit out of themselves with their performances, and they are embracing it. Yes, they may not be the next Robert DeNiro (who REALLY needs to find a good movie to be in-I have high hopes for Stardust, but Bobby D has NOT been choosing well at all!), but they certainly have a good time and understand that they are entertainers, not brain surgeons.

I had an audition this weekend for Zastrozzi, which is one of my favourite plays. I trudged through the rain, sleet and generally NASTY Vancouver weather to reach the audition. It was in a fabulous little studio space in Gastown-I never knew it was there, but how GREAT it was!

I was greeted by a myriad of "actors". Oh how I HATE "actors". Men in cropped Lululemon pants and skin tight shirts hyperventilating and expressing how they are having problems "dropping in their breath". Women looking self important and screeching "mee mee mee" at the top of their lungs. Most of them looking like they were about to participate in the MOST important thing EVER IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD!!!!! Because they are ACTORS! Serious bastards...

And the accents...whoa the accents.

Zastrozzi is subtitled "the master discipline" and it takes place in Europe. Apparently this subtitle gives people free reign to expound in bad accents in order to get into character. Specifically, Russian accents. Apparently being a master of discipline means you are Russian. Even though Zastrozzi is German.

Dear god in heaven.

I'll admit...I need to warm up more before auditions/performances etc. I am not as young as I used to be, and my body IS my tool, so I should respect it more. But I also do this because I enjoy it-its fun, I'm good at it, and I love being the centre of attention. Yes, some actors don't like that last part, but for the most part, we are all attention grabbing sluts who get off on being on centre stage (or in a close up shot or whatever). The amount of actors who think that they are "the shit" however astounds me. The belief that they are acting as a service to the planet, because they are better than the rest of the plebs in the world is prevalent and alarming to me.

A memo to all actors out there!

We are being paid to play make believe. ITS FUN! ENJOY IT! REVEL IN IT! You are an actor-the best job in the world. HOWEVER when you act like a poncy actor, you look like an idiot and guaranteed there is someone in the room-a fellow actor perhaps- perhaps a blonde one snorting behind her hand-that wants to beat you to death with Uta Hagen.

That is all.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

The Evil Beet and American Idol

One of my new favourite blogs is "The Evil Beet". This is for many reasons.

1. They are called the Evil Beet. I like beets, but I love this name even more!
2. Brilliant, and I do mean brilliant American Idol recaps.
3. Today's post has Gerald Butler in nothing but swim trunks. Praise the lord for hot men like Gerard Butler and Daniel Craig in swim trunks.

Let us pause to consider that...


Now...back to the program...

I have a small and embarrassing addiction to some reality shows. Like American Idol, America's Next Top Model (last night was the makeover show! YAY!), Project Catwalk, Project Runway and I am flirting with the Next PussyCat Doll one because it is SO insane!

But back to the Idol.

First off, the Ford Videos...WHAT? Float on by Modest Mouse? I haven't stopped sputtering since then. The fiance thought I was choking on my quesadilla when it came on. This is one of my FAVOURITE songs! WHY MUST IT BE SUNG BY AMERICAN IDOL CONTESTANTS? And the video itself? Oh my...well...I just can't . Lets just say upsetting afros and leave it at that.

Here is the original video to Float On...that should undo some of the damage.

In addition to the Ford Videos and their heinousness, there is always someone on that show that stays for way too long that makes me want to beat the TV into a bloody pulp.

This year, that person would be Sanjaya Malakar.

I want to slap him silly.

He's just awful. He has the personality of tofu. And he is a CHILD! Send him home! Stop letting horny 12 year old girls vote! Stop the madness!

It is because of him that my early favourite Sundance was kicked off (okay, I liked him because he was huge and named Sundance. He could sing too, but HELLO! SUNDANCE? How fun is THAT!).

This week, poor Brandon, who could actually SING got the boot.

This means another week of listening to this insipid child whine his songs.

Here is what "the Beet" has to say about him...
Oh good, Sanjaya. Man, I just plain old hate him. I’m sorry. Why is he still here? Diana Ross hates him too, and that makes me happy. You can tell she’s kind of like “Why am I spending my time with this talentless hack?” Sanjaya hits the stage and — OH MY GOD HIS HAIR IS IN RINGLETS!!! HE LOOKS LIKE CURLY SUE!! — proceeds to whisper the words to “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” with about the same amount of enthusiasm I tend to dedicate to urination. WHY IS THIS KID STILL HERE? OMG I hate him. Randy’s laughing it sucked so hard. He can’t stop laughing. Paula then explodes into a series of words I recognize as belonging to the category of “English,” but beyond that I can’t make heads or tails of them. Okay, so Simon’s like “When you hear a wail in Beverly Hills, that is where Diana Ross is watching this show,” and everyone is completely and utterly confused because they think he said “whale” instead of “wail” and it takes them a long time to sort it out, but eventually they start booing, because Sanjaya has curly hair and so they love him. Ultimately, 17-year-old Sanjaya has completely failed Homonyms 101, because Simon has to explain that he meant Diana Ross will “scream,” because one of the producers whispered into his ear piece that Americans don’t have anything bordering on an acceptable public education system. Then, because what if the horse isn’t dead yet?, Ryan talks about the “marine biology” whale versus the one Simon was talking about. Key takeaway: Diana Ross, no one is calling you a whale.

I really shouldn't care, but for me, what it comes down to is that EVENTUALLY I will hear the single of the person who wins on the radio. I would like that single to at least be okay enough that I don't have a seizure before I change the song. Carrie Underwood makes me twitch (Jesus PLEASE give her back the wheel. I know a Canadian wrote this song. It doesn't make it right). Ruben is a GIANT goober, Fantastia has become non existent and don't even get me STARTED about Clay. Taylor had good potential, but is spiralling into the depths of Adult Easy Listening Hell and the term Soul Patrol needs to be STRIPPED from the English vernacular. Kelly Clarkson is doing alright for herself though-go Kelly go! (on a side note, who the HELL does their websites. Hard to say which was worse...I may have to go with Ruben's. Anyhow, they need to be stopped too.)

I may need a life...

Monday, March 12, 2007

I tried on Liz Hurley's wedding dress!

Well, almost.

In the effort to find THE dress (which I did...YAY! I look fab in it too!), I went to an assortment of stores. One that I went to labels itself as the largest in Canada. It may well be, but I would not recommend anyone venturing there. The sales tactics were REALLY high pressure and their prices were much higher than anywhere else.

One of the dresses that the saleswoman brought me was a strapless version of Liz Hurley's dress. She looks lovely and ethereal and slightly less boring than usual.

I looked like a deranged chicken. The sales person said I looked fantastic and dramatic. A fellow bride behind her kept mouthing to me "No! No! No!" I ran from the store shortly after.

But I am certainly less boring than Liz and my fiance is way hotter than hers. WOO HOO!

In further boring celebrity news, Boring Liz is no longer the host of one of my favourite shows "Project Catwalk". It is now boring Kelly Osborne. Snore. Kelly Osborne drives me batty-she presents her self as an edgy style maven, but she is really just a spoiled brat. Papa don't preach indeed.

Oh well-it promises to be an EXCELLENT series. I have already picked my favourite designer- Wayne Aveline who is the tattooed mustachioed gentleman on the left of the back row.

From his bio...

Wayne is a 32 year old gay Buddhist from Birmingham. He now works as a Club Host at Birmingham and The Cross, but was a womenswear designer for Sisley when he lived in Italy. Wayne has a BA (Hons) Fashion Design from Central St Martins, and won fetish designer of the year at the Erotica Awards.

He specialises in haute couture, women's evening wear and avant-garde. Wayne has no problems working with fur, suede or leather, and gets frustrated at people's narrow mindedness. Wayne was an extra in the Spice Girls Movie, and in keeping with these days wears 11' heels making him a looming 7"1'. Bold and outspoken, Wayne said that most of the designers were "shit" at call-backs.
GO WAYNE GO!!! His dress kicked ass this week! I am looking forward to what he comes up with in future episodes.

Food for thought: The Hart House

Last night the fiance and I went to the Hart House Restaurant at Deer Lake in Burnaby for his birthday dinner. We were certainly not disappointed!

The restaurant itself is a heritage building that has been converted into a lovely restaurant and event facility. The view overlooks Deer Lake and every table has a sense of intimacy, but not in a snooty overpowering way. The restaurant describes itself as casually elegant, and I think that hits the mark. We would have been comfortable in nice jeans and a shirt or a suit and dress-it wouldn't have mattered.

Our waiter inspired both of us to think career change-the affianced has decided that he wants to be a cool waiter when he turns 50 and endeavour to the heights of ours. He was knowledgeable, relaxed, attentive, funny and not at all overbearing. Added amazingly to the dining experience.

We started with a bottle of Burrowing Owl Pinot Noir. Yummy. A little overrated for the price, but it was still a lovely wine and went perfectly with our meals! Our waiter even complimented our choice (although the compliment definitely added to his tip...hmmm...he WAS a good waiter!)

I started with the beef carpaccio with arugula, truffle dressing and caper berries. The affianced started with the dungeness crab cakes with thai dressing. YUM on both accounts. The carpaccio melted in my mouth and the saltiness and tanginess of the dressing and caper berries really added to the flavour of the meat. The crab cakes were perfectly done and the sauce was yummy cocoanutty goodness.

For the mains, the boy had the rack of lamb which I am told was good. I don't eat lamb because it tastes like goat to me and I grew up on a goat farm (yup...a farm girl. Explains SO MUCH!). I had the wild mushroom risotto. I was tempted by the Roast tenderloin, but I love risotto and wanted to try theirs and do NOT regret my choice. It went beautifully with the wine, it was creamy, cheesy and magnificent with a lovely assortment of wild mushrooms that weren't at all overwhelming.

The desserts however were not as amazing as the meal. They were fine, but the rest of the food was so spectacular, it would have been hard to beat. The boy had a warm chocolate caramel pecan brownie with vanilla ice cream and candied pecans. It was fine-the pecans rocked, but the rest was okay. I had the dessert trio-chocolate hazelnut mousse cake (good), creme caramel (okay, THAT was amazing...yum yum yum) and a coconut chocolate cake (meh). In future, I think I will stick with the creamy desserts from the Hart House. We finished off our meal with a lovely coffee, left a fabulous tip for our waiter and headed off into the raining, dismal evening.

Four enthusiastic thumbs up for the Hart House! We look forward to returning in the nicer weather for brunch on the patio.

Friday, March 9, 2007

Whatever happened to the Spellbound kids?

I loved the movie Spellbound. What's not to love though? Its a movie that celebrates the geek, and we have all been the geek in one situation or other.

This movie was on the other night while I was at home looking after the fiance who had just had laser eye surgery. He is doing very well, thanks for asking. I almost fainted when they were describing the procedure to him, which didn't really help him relax at all funnily enough. I have no problem with medical stuff-I can watch medical shows, I used to be a cracker jack first aid attendant that had to deal with a range of marvellous injuries, but I think my imagination is too strong, so the description almost killed me. Sad. He looks quite dashing in his sunglasses, although he is going TOTALLY stir crazy and he is probably reading this right now, which he shouldn't be doing as the glare from the computer is bad for his eyes so STOP READING THIS RIGHT NOW FIANCE OF MINE!! Alright, back to Spellbound...

Spelling Bees are big money. The Scripps National spelling bee is one of the most watched events on ESPN. The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee is a Tony Award winning Broadway Musical that was written I am sure in response to the buzz that Spellbound got. Imagine my delight when I went to the website for the aforementioned musical and saw Jesse Tyler Ferguson as one of the spellers. Jesse who plays Ritchie Veltch, my FAVOURITE character on the Class. (Jesse is number 17 in the photo below)

And who can forget that smash hit Akeelah and the Bee (seriously...did anyone see that? I really should...).

But while the bees may be big money, what does it mean to the participants? Where do they go after their brush with stardom of spelling bees, or specifically, being in the documentary Spellbound?

So, I decided to check out three of my favourite spellers Harry, George and Ashley...

Harry Altman
I loved this kid. I mean LOOK AT HIM! Dorky jokes, random robot impressions. love him. Harry attended the Academy for Engineering and Design Technology in Hackensack, New Jersey. He enrolled in the University of Chicago in autumn of 2005 (gotta love the internet and wikipedia) and has participated in a variety of academic quiz competitions at the university level including the College Quiz Bowl and the National Academic Quiz Tournament. Once a geek always a geek I guess.

George Thampy
Ah George. Slight speech impediment, wearing a suit that made him look 90 and a homeschool religious fanatic. Magic. Trust in Jesus was George's motto. He won in 2000, attended Harvard with the intention of becoming a doctor and now works for the Scripps Spelling Bee. I guess spelling really is his life.

Ashley White
Ashley was the one I was rooting for because she came from "the wrong side of the tracks" and she had such an amazing outlook on life. Five years after participating in the bee she became a single mother who bounced between the homes of her relatives. This article profiles her story and the changes that have come from the community rallying around her to allow her to pursue the dreams that she had when she was in the bee. I hope she reaches them!

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

The name is Bun...James Bun

I am a HUGE James Bond fan. My fiance bought me a tattoo for my birthday last year (which I still haven't gotten...yes, I am bad...) and the tattoo I want is a caricature of myself as a Bond Girl. Fab.

For your Tuesday viewing pleasure, I give you the Angry Alien Productions 30 second Bunny Theatre presentation of a James Bond Bunny Mini-Medley. I love the 30 second Bunny Theatre productions-my favourite was A Christmas Story, that has now been replaced by the ode to Bond.

Joyous rapture...with bunnies!

Sunday, March 4, 2007

How much do I love Mika?

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO a rhetorical question.

LOVING the MIKA! Hot Lunch has gushed about Mika recently, and I totally concur with his rave reviews.

Much singing and dancing by me on the first listen of the whole album (which was on the skytrain on the way to buy my wedding dress! YAY! I LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE my dress! Big ups to Bryan's Bride! No pressure, great prices, and FIERCE dresses!). The man is SO channeling Freddie Mercury, which thrills me to no end because Freddie rocked. Great voice, fabulous music, a whole lot of camp and just a little bit of social commentary. What is not to love?

I really have nothing deep and inspiring to say about the album-it just makes me happy, and for me, that is more than enough! This album is my new "I hate the world" album because it is guaranteed to bring anyone out of their deep blue funk!!!

I give you the video to the first single, Grace Kelly. Enjoy it! Love it! DANCE AND SING!!!!!

And I follow it up with him performing on "Later with Jools Holland" I SO wish I got BBC, especially as Amy Winehouse is on this week, and she is amazing! More on her later-don't want to take away from the fabulousness and funness of Mika! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Friday, March 2, 2007

Its a time wasting Friday

I don't want to work today AT ALL!

I have written so many requests and grants the last few days my fingers and brain are cramped. Why oh why is there no money fairy that can fly down and hurl funds at my small and worthwhile non-profit...why???

I am feeling a bit "social activitst" today, so bear with me. I have included some fun ones as well for web exploring pleasure...

Meet the world
Icaro Doria is a 25 year old Brazilian artist who is part of a team of artists that produced a unique and moving flag campaign. The artists researched relevant, global, and current facts and, thus, came up with the idea to put new meanings to the colours of the flags. They used real data taken from the websites of Amnesty International and the UNO. There are eight flags that portray very current topics like the division of opinions about the war in Iraq in the United States, the violence against women in Africa, the social inequality in Brazil, the drug trafficking in Columbia, Aids and malaria in Angola, etc.

Put your money where your mouth is! Ceres is a coalition of investor groups, environmental organizations and investment funds engaging directly with companies on environmental and social issues. Ceres companies seek to attain long-term business value and to improve management quality through stakeholder engagement, public disclosure and performance improvements.

Breathing Earth

Imagine Canada
Canada is second only to Holland in the amount of non-profit organizations that exist within the country. Millions of Canadians work in the non-profit sector, yet a very tiny percent of BIG MONEY Canadians or corporations donate to or support any non-profits-yes, many participate in United Way giving campaigns, but few see outside that box (yes, that is my own personal soap box...I appreciate all the United Way does but many companies won't support or sponsor small organizations BECAUSE they give to the United Way-an organization my small non-profit gets no funding from). Imagine Canada focuses on getting non profits, philanthropists and businesses working together through great programs like the Caring Company program and providing low cost access to foundation databases.

Raising the Roof
Raising the Roof is Canada's only national charity dedicated to long-term solutions to homelessness. They:
  • Build awareness about homelessness and what can be done.
  • Raise funds for community groups working to alleviate homelessness.
  • Give corporations, organizations and people from all walks of life ways to develop and join in strategies to address and prevent homelessness nationally and in their own communities. This includes providing the opportunity for local agencies and communities to learn from one another and share action-oriented prevention strategies.
AND the toques they sell are FABULOUS! I wear mine to football practise!!!

A webportal of food blogs, fabulous kitchen websites et al. ITS FOOD PORN PEOPLE! I am SUCH a foodie and one of my secret aspirations is to be a fabulously wealthy personal chef or own my own extremely hip restaurant...sigh...if only I was made of money...


In addition to being a foodie, I have a secret love of crafting and knitting. If only there were 87 hours in a day and I had an attention span longer than a squirrel...

See above...but this way, other people do it for me! I got an incredibly cool ring from there made out of a Guiness beer can on sterling silver. It lets me wear my Irishness/booziness with pride!

Adero Design
I cannot describe how much I want this chair/couch/chaise thingy...I also cannot describe how much my fiance would HATE it!