Monday, October 15, 2007

Blog Action Day

Today is Blog Action Day!

Today thousands of bloggers around the world are blogging about the environment.

I know issues surrounding our little green planet can be contentious to say the least. I am sure many people find the concept of global warming confusing and insurmountable.

What can we do? Is there anything TO do? Is this all one colossal conspiracy to get Al Gore in office?

So today...the lights are going off and the veggies are coming out at the Acting Responsible household. We area going to work on minimum electrical power, turn down the heat and eat a low footprint meal containing organically grown local produce for dinner! YAY US!

Here are a few fabulous resources that not only help you make your OWN decision on climate change and global warming, but will help you to do YOUR part to keep our planet happy, healthy and here for a long long time...

What are YOU going to do???

We Can Live Green
A fantastic portal for all things you may need to go and live green. From cosmetics to food to travel, the folks at We Can Live Green have put together an amazing list of resources!

Greentech Media
Have some money burning a hole in your pocket that you need to invest RIGHT NOW? The folks at Greentech Media have your back!

The folks at DeSmogBlog are aiming to clear the PR Pollution that clouds climate science. Not really sure what to believe? The pr pundits at DeSmogBlog can help you find all the information you may need on BOTH sides of the debate!!!

The Final countdown


It's the last week of work for me.

I can't stop grinning.

For the last few days, whenever people see me they say.

" are glowing. Why do you look so happy?"


I have two days with the hated board president Mimi (yech). I am going to try to be the bigger person (although that is physically impossible. The woman is built like Refrigerator Perry and smells like llama poop). It should be interesting. They have decided not to hire anyone to replace me, which is both a compliment and insulting as it means that I am irreplaceable (yah me), AND they think that they don't need anyone to do my job (jerks).

I am trying not to care too much. I put so much into this job and I have seen so much growth and I KNOW they are going to lose all of that. I am hoping that they wake up and realize how important the relationships etch I set up are for them, but I am not holding my breath.

It alarms me how horrible they have been in fact. One would think that being the worlds smallest non profit, they would try to avoid burning bridges and try to cultivate me as a volunteer and supporter. Instead they have alienated me. It does reaffirm my thought that they all live with their heads firmly planted up their asses though... will all be over and I will start the new DREAM job at the new fantastic place. They have already given me my office mug and new email address:) I feel so loved...

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Is it just me, or is this a redundant conversation?

I had the following conversation with our building manager on Tuesday after the heinous car abuse that my wee little Protege had suffered...

Me: "Hi, I wanted to talk to you about the break in to my car."

He: "There is nothing I can do about it. Call ICBC."

Me: "Yes...I know that. I've done that already. I just thought you should know that our car got broken into. As did quite a few others."

He: "Yes, I talked to them yesterday. Its not very good. We should get cameras, but the strata won't pay for it"

Me: "I can see how that would be a problem. I also need a new access card as mine was taken from my car. Yes, i know we aren't supposed to leave them in the car, but you wouldn't give us two so we had to leave it in there as there are two of us with one car."

He: "Oh no! That's not good. Now they can get in the parking garage!"

Um...I think that may be where the problem started in the first place.

The apartment hunt has begun-west end, main street and downtown-I hear you calling me!

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Thou pribbling clapper-clawed giglet!

I have discovered the online Shakespearean Insult Kit.

Oh kit, where have you been all my life?

I really need it today, for some errant fen-sucking miscreants BROKE INTO MY CAR!


There I was, calmly enjoying turkey, roast and a copious amount of wine, beer and Jack Daniels at the in-laws on Vancouver Island when some puny boil-brained varlet was SMASHING MY DRIVERS SIDE WINDOW. IN MY SECURE UNDERGROUND PARKING GARAGE!!!! And they stole NOTHING! NOTHING!


A pox on their houses.

This week is not starting off well...not starting off well at all.

I need to laugh.

Perhaps THIS will do...


Thank you Pete and Brian...thank you...

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Quick health question

Is trail mix, or "gorp" as the true geeks used to call it when I was in Girl Guides, still considered a healthy snack alternative to a bag of Lay's Sour Cream and Onion Ripple Chips if you eat a pound of it in one sitting?

Probably not huh?


Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Funny fornication?

In the process of looking for inspiration for my next writing project, I asked my husband what HE thought I should be scribbling about.

"Something humourous. There aren't that many female comedic writers-why don't you try to write something funny that ISN'T about shopping or diaries or turning 30. Just make sure its not about me. Because that's NOT funny. At all. Its especially not funny when you make fun of my accent. You are going to make fun of my accent aren't you. You suck."

French Canadian accents are fun. Go on-head out and ask a French Canadian to say "intersection", "drawer" or anything with a "th" in it. In fact, if you can get them to say "Who put that chest of drawers in the intersection", you'll be laughing for hours. Comedy FODDER!

But I digress.

So, I got on the trusty computer and started exploring that wacky world wide web for possible outlets for my acerbic, yet heartfelt wit. Something that will inspire my fingers to fly about the keyboard that isn't about my wacky neighbours or the drunks at the New West skytrain station.

And I discovered that apparently, there is a need for...wait for it...

Comedic erotica.

There are publishers out there looking for comedic erotica.

More than one publisher.

I can't even BEGIN to fathom what I would write...

Clowns having sex?

A description of me losing my virginity? (MOM! STOP READING THIS RIGHT NOW!!!!) 1989-the bathroom floor...hitting my head on the toilet and burning my leg on the heater. A regular laugh fest. Nope-I am pretty sure that's not what they are looking for. And I would potentially die of embarrassment in the process of writing it (who has sex on the bathroom floor for their first time? WHO?)

In fact, ANY story about experiences with my first few boyfriends (MOM! I WARNED YOU!). Those were all laugh riots, let me tell you. Phones were answered, closet doors fell on my head, clothing was put on backwards just before my dad walked in the room.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

Honestly, its amazing I ever had sex again... (MOM! GO AWAY!)

Somehow, I JUST don't think that is what they mean...

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Miss Manner's guide to dressing appropriately: Chapter 1

An open letter to the man living somewhere on the third floor in my apartment building.

Dear sir,

You seem to be a very nice man. We have chatted several times in the elevator and while walking up the stairs. You are very polite, always hold the door open for me, and have intelligent things to say. I have suspicions that you are a member of the Russian Mafia as you drive a Mercedes Compressor AND an M Class SUV and live in a small somewhat nasty apartment building in Burnaby. You also have a ludicrous hair weave that nobody thinks is real. Nobody.

Now sir, I am not a fashion dictator. I understand that sometimes, one needs to wander downstairs to throw out the garbage in ones pyjamas. What Not To Wear isn't ALWAYS filming with hidden cameras and sometimes, you just need to be comfortable.

However sir, there is a limit to comfort.

Imagine my surprise when I got on to the elevator this morning and discovered you in your housecoat and aqua sox. AQUA SOX! HOUSECOAT! WHAT?

I was willing to let that slide and give you the benefit of the doubt. I was assuming you were heading to the garbage or recycling-there was no garbage evident, but maybe you were looking for something. However, when you turned toward the cars as I was and headed to your SUV I began to doubt that you were looking for your lost keys in amidst the detritus of our wee building. Perhaps you had just forgotten something in your car?

No... had not.

You LEAPED into your car (and in the process revealed that you were not, in fact, wearing anything under your housecoat...AAAAAAAAAAAAA), turned it on, and DROVE AWAY! IN YOUR HOUSECOAT AND AQUA SOX! AND WEARING NOTHING UNDER YOUR HOUSECOAT! AAAAAAAA!

I didn't need to see that sir. I didn't need to see your wedding tackle. Your crown jewels. Your frank and beans. Any of it. It may have scarred me. It was a totally unexpected display of nudity and honestly wasn't...well...some people just shouldn't be nude. We'll just leave it at that.

I am concerned sir. It concerns me that you seem to think its okay to wander the streets in your housecoat. With no pants. Or underpants. In fact, wearing NOTHING resembling pants. It is not okay. It is not okay at all. You are not Nick Nolte. It wasn't okay for him either.

How hard is it to put on pants and a shirt? And appropriate footwear? Honestly, its not that difficult. I do it every day and I am NOT a morning person! I can barely even see when I leave the house, yet I am still DRESSED! I am not even asking for coordination-just common decency.

And pants.



The now slightly scarred blonde from the second floor.

Monday, October 1, 2007

Forced Creativity

This weekend, as I was getting more and more angry at the thought that I had to come to work on Monday to the evil job from hell because my bosses have become giant flaming assholes of evil that I want to stab several times and spit in the gaping wounds, I thought to myself that perhaps I need to put more energy into the creative side of myself in order to release some of that pent up energy. And anger. Crap loads of anger.

I always used to think of myself as a creative soul. I headed off to theatre school with my handmade sweaters, sketch book and journal ready to take on the world one creative act at a time. But as of late, I find I define myself less as a creative soul and more as...well...just me. I don't think its a BAD thing-I find people are WAY TOO hampered by their definitions of themselves. My coworker has decided that she is a warm person and very empathetic, and because I am not like her, I am by extension NOT warm OR empathetic (which is of course horse poop. I am warm and empathetic. I just don't cry at the drop of a hat. Maybe at the drop of a REALLY nice pair of shoes, but certainly not a hat).

I think however I need to work on fostering that creative side more-whatever that may be. I am losing myself in my work and in reality television, and that's just not right. The problem is it takes work, and I am REALLY BAD at motivating myself. I LOVE motivating other people (you there! Lunchy! GET PUBLISHING! The Georgia Straight is ONLY the beginning!).

There is also the problem of DEFINING creativity. Many people think of creativity of being artistic in nature, but that isn't necessarily true. In one of my past jobs, I worked at a biotechnology company, and let me tell you, those scientists were pretty darned creative. No only with what they wore (seriously-the whole "scientists are badly dressed geeks" thing is pretty well spot on. Yes, some were quite fashionable, but some...well...lets just say REALLY tiny jean shorts on a 45 year old Russian engineer and leave it at that). So if I am creative in the WAY that I work, does that suffice? No...not so much.

And then there is the problem that I have the ability to focus on one task of a hyperactive 3 year old. Sure, its all well and good for me to sit down and write that one woman show in which I showcase by BRILLIANT comedic skills, mad tap dancing chops and singing voice of an angel, but guaranteed I will be distracted by a shiny thing. Or Beauty and the Geek. Or breathing.

Sigh...WAY to deep for a Monday morning. I should be busy drinking coffee and catching up on all the Hollywood gossip that I missed out on over the weekend.
Like Pamela Anderson's impending wedding. To Rick Solomon, the star of Paris Hilton's sex tape. Oh Pam, Pam, Pam. I love you, your fantastically fake breasts, your commitment to your causes, and the fact that you KNOW you are a cheesy, fake blonde bimbo (AND proud Canadian), but have GOT to start marrying a better class of men.

And that, dear reader, is Monday's set of random ramblings. Tune in later for my observations on people napping ON MY CAR at 3 in the afternoon on a Friday. really happened...