I have discovered the online Shakespearean Insult Kit.
Oh kit, where have you been all my life?
I really need it today, for some errant fen-sucking miscreants BROKE INTO MY CAR!
There I was, calmly enjoying turkey, roast and a copious amount of wine, beer and Jack Daniels at the in-laws on Vancouver Island when some puny boil-brained varlet was SMASHING MY DRIVERS SIDE WINDOW. IN MY SECURE UNDERGROUND PARKING GARAGE!!!! And they stole NOTHING! NOTHING!
A pox on their houses.
This week is not starting off well...not starting off well at all.
I need to laugh.
Perhaps THIS will do...
Thank you Pete and Brian...thank you...