In the process of looking for inspiration for my next writing project, I asked my husband what HE thought I should be scribbling about.
"Something humourous. There aren't that many female comedic writers-why don't you try to write something funny that ISN'T about shopping or diaries or turning 30. Just make sure its not about me. Because that's NOT funny. At all. Its especially not funny when you make fun of my accent. You are going to make fun of my accent aren't you. You suck."
French Canadian accents are fun. Go on-head out and ask a French Canadian to say "intersection", "drawer" or anything with a "th" in it. In fact, if you can get them to say "Who put that chest of drawers in the intersection", you'll be laughing for hours. Comedy FODDER!
But I digress.
So, I got on the trusty computer and started exploring that wacky world wide web for possible outlets for my acerbic, yet heartfelt wit. Something that will inspire my fingers to fly about the keyboard that isn't about my wacky neighbours or the drunks at the New West skytrain station.
And I discovered that apparently, there is a need for...wait for it...
There are publishers out there looking for comedic erotica.
More than one publisher.
I can't even BEGIN to fathom what I would write...
Clowns having sex?
A description of me losing my virginity? (MOM! STOP READING THIS RIGHT NOW!!!!) 1989-the bathroom floor...hitting my head on the toilet and burning my leg on the heater. A regular laugh fest. Nope-I am pretty sure that's not what they are looking for. And I would potentially die of embarrassment in the process of writing it (who has sex on the bathroom floor for their first time? WHO?)
In fact, ANY story about experiences with my first few boyfriends (MOM! I WARNED YOU!). Those were all laugh riots, let me tell you. Phones were answered, closet doors fell on my head, clothing was put on backwards just before my dad walked in the room.
Ha. Ha. Ha.
Honestly, its amazing I ever had sex again... (MOM! GO AWAY!)
Somehow, I JUST don't think that is what they mean...