I AM A PARIAH!

I have caught "the cold". You know the one. Its been profiled on CBC, people are wearing facemasks, and Tylenol cold is rushing off the shelves.

Gnnnnnr.

My fiance's cousin is the epicentre of this bastard. He gave it to the affianced, who kindly passed it on to me.

We have become the worlds most pathetic couple. I sound like Harvey Fierstein, and he is making sounds like a birthing cow.

Yuck.

I'm not complaining. Really, I'm not. Getting colds is part of life, and I actually feel okay-I just sound like a 55 year old gay Jewish New Yorker. And I just coughed up something that looked like Eggs Benedict. ew.

I am complaining about other people's reaction to my cold.

I am not asking for your sympathy. I am not asking for your kleenex. I am not really asking for much.

I do not, however, want to hear "ew! Get away! EW! Don't give it to me! Are you contagious? EW!"

This makes me want to lick the person. Spit on their phone. Sneeze on their keyboard. Its all I can do to not wait until they leave the room and then run in and breathe on their lunch. I know that's a petty reaction for me to have but COME ON now...how is that supposed to make me feel? I wash my hands, I try not to stand too close! Jerkheads...

My ex boss at the PR firm which shall not be named used to spray antibacterial lotion at people whenever they got sick. That only made the sick person wet and eventually caused him to have no antibodies to speak of, so he would get sick. He was the person most infected by colds in our office, probably because he bathed in antibacterial stuff...yuck.

I must go now...i think i just coughed up a lung.

ew again...