Bridezilla?

I fear becoming a bridezilla.

I am fairly certain it won't come of that. My fiance is on daily "bridezilla watch" and my bridesmaids, friends and relations have all been given cart blanche to tell me to "f&*#$&* off" if I become too scary, crazy, demanding etc. I have crossed the line once already when I asked the affianced if he was planning on getting his brows manicured before the wedding. He has one hair between his eyebrows. Unless the photographer is planning on taking pictures of us with a SUPER zoom lens, no one will notice the one hair. I have apologized. It was SO FAR across the line.

I have encountered SEVERAL bridezillas. Most brides have moments of "zilla-ness", and that is somewhat forgivable. I have not seen someone in a few years due to her bridezilla moments. There was snapping involved. Actual snapping. At me. rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. More on that in a future issue.

I am now declaring in a public forum if crazy-ass bridezilla-like tendencies are noticed, the noticer is free to send the noticee the following card.
These bridezilla-like tendencies are recognized by the following characteristics:

1. screaming
2. crying and pulling of hair
3. self induced vomiting
   
4. hyperventilating
5. obsession with table layouts
6. snapping (seriously. She snapped her fingers at me!)
7. obvious psychotic behaviour
   

Thank you all for your continued support.